Major surgery

The doctor entered and said, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a bad car accident. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything; however, your penis
was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it.”

The man groaned, but the doctor continued, "You have $9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. They’re roughly $1,000 an inch.”

The man perked up as the doctor continued, "You must decide how many inches you want. But understand that because you're married, this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now, she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you choose a five incher now, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make this decision. The man agreed to talk it over with his wife.

Next day, the doctor returned.
"So, have you spoken with your wife?”
"Yes I have," said the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?”
"Yes, she has" said the man.
"So, what’s is your decision?" asked the doctor.
“Looks like we’re getting granite counter tops.”